so much for blogging.

I'm clearly a bad blogger. It's been months. Regardless, right now I am actually H-A-P-P-Y! It's amazing. The dance season is underway and going well and I'm looking forward to dance team stuff starting too.

love, ashleigh

open house

So on May 18th we are FINALLY having an open house! Cross your fingers someone will want to buy my house for close to the asking price. I am just itching to move and start over!

Beyond the Stars dance competition is also this weekend and I am looking forward to it. I am sure LJDT will be awesome : AOD's pictures are this weekend too. Talk about a lot on my plate! I'm sure everything will go well though. I am totally exhausted from all the time I"ve put in getting things ready.

Hmmmm, 3 more weeks of classes at AOD to finish before the recital. I am definitely getting in gear for camp and I am looking forward to summer. I wish that my family was completely together, but hopefully June 19th will bring all siblings under one roof with 2 brothers who have graduated. Email/call me if you want details.

ALright my bed is calling me.... NIGHT!

rejected.

After waiting for months I found out today that I won't be attending Rutger's in the fall. I am really upset about this. I finally had a good plan and I was ready to really jump start my life and career and now I have ZERO back up plans. I can't just pick up and move somewhere to go to a school that will accept me! I don't know what I'm going to do. This sucks.

I don't know if anyone ever saw this. I found it on my computer and laughed hysterically. Enjoy. If you didn't know I was a complete and utter wackjob... well now you do.



I've spent a lot of time at camp the past week. I am getting soooo excited for the summer, it's definitely going to be a good one. The new staff we've hired seem like they are going to be fabulous with the girls and the themes and extras we've planned look as though they will run smoothly. My week of resident camp is also going smoothly as well. Girls are actually signing up for it and it looks like I will actually get to run it and I couldn't be more thrilled :)

If YOU want to work at camp and are 16 or older let me know and I'll see what I can do :)

entertain me?

Despite the Starpower competition with LJDT being unbearably hot, long-winded, and into the wee hours of the morning I am happy to say that one of the dances I choreographed, Where in the World? (Carmen Sandiego + Carwash) received one of the 4 entertainment awards given out to the 13+ groups. YAY! (even if every kid on the team had to leave before they received the award because awards were so late and they had school)

If you want to see it along with my rendition of Take 5 (YES THEY DANCE IN 5!) and Calypso (Confabulation music for anyone who remembers that piece) come along to Voorhees May16-18 or even better Cape May in July.

fabulous...

I just have to write to say that I had an absolutely FABULOUS day at work. I got so much done with the dances and I even came up with a cool hip hop section for the dance. I could not be more proud of myself. ANDDDD my gutters are getting fixed tomorrow :) I love when you can just be so happy just because of the little things.

-ashleigh

calming down.

So I recently finished watching the entire series of Gilmore girls and have taken to catching the reruns on TV when I can now that I know I won't be spoiling the end of the series for myself. I have come to the realization that I had, in real life, what Lorelai and Rory had on that show. I can't be any more appreciative of that and I hope and wish with all my heart that I have a daughter and we have that kind of relationship as well. I think this is what makes it extra hard for me to see moms and daughters who do not get along.

On another note I am feeling very optimistic about the upcoming dance competition for LJDT and for the soon to be spring break I have from work. Also I got all of my reservations about teaching hip hop off my chest and it's looking like I won't have to do it AT ALL next year. I couldn't be more thrilled. Also the studio owner where I work had a bit of good news that looks like it will help me out for next year too. I won't say exactly what yet, but it all sounds great.

I've started to focus on completing the things I can and putting them out of the way so I can start worrying less. One thing at a time, right?

lots of love,
ashleigh

secret

I find this blog absolutely fascinating. PostSecret.com Everything that goes into these postcards is beautiful regardless of what they say.

writing makes it better. sometimes.

I'm not sure how I feel about starting a blog again. I was blogging a little on myspace, but I guess I moved over to this because no one knows about it yet. I don't know if I want to share this or not, but I feel like I need to write.


I've been moving along in life as steadily as anyone else, but right now I'm feeling pretty discouraged. I feel as though work has seriously taken over my life. While I love being at the the studios most of the time and I think my students are fabulous the fact that I have NO time really to hang out with my friends (or lack thereof) is slowing tearing me down. As we speak I am in the middle of problems with one of my closest friends because I haven't seen her in forever and it seems as though I am not making an effort. I promise everyone that I WANT to see you, but when it comes to being at work till 8:30 pm on a Saturday and needing to wake up to do choreography and work all day Sunday, I just can't make it happen. I feel like I'm constantly sick and always tired. I had the flu about a month ago and still was at work everyday because I didn't have a sub. I just don't have the strength. My actual days off are so few and far between that I end up cleaning my house, or food shopping or paying bills, running errands, sleeping, etc. I'm starting to feel like I'm not giving my students enough of me either because I am so burnt out.



In other less depressing news I am still working on selling my house. I am way behind on all of this, but I'm doing my best. I applied to Rutgers' doctoral program for cognitive psychology and I'm waiting to hear if I got in. I'm not feeling too optimistic (which if you know me at all this is very uncharacteristic of me), but I so badly want to get in. I have absolutely NO idea what I will do if I don't get accepted. I cannot go on teaching dance for the rest of eternity. I really wish I had time to dance for me and make work, but I just don't. My hope is to get into Rutgers graduate in 2013, have everyone call me Dr. Edwards, get a job teaching at a college with a dance program, do dance research, make pieces, and be happy with the man I hopefully find along the way. I miss my Muhlenberg life SOOOOO badly, constantly learning and being surrounded by people who love you, I would take that back so quickly if I could.



I've been reading different people's blogs, their statuses on facebook, posts on myspace, away messages and really I couldn't be more jealous. To be free to just move where you want, do want you want, without being tied down must be a wonderful feeling. Please don't think I am looking for sympathy because I'm not. I mean, yes the hand I've been dealt is a shitty one, but I do have two wonderful brothers who mean the world to me, and I think my parents prepared me to deal with everything that I am doing right now, but sometimes it is hard to be so selfless. I can't do anything without thinking of how it will fit into the family's big picture. Sometimes I wish I could just up and move somewhere, get a job and dance dance dance. It's just not possible.



So I guess the moral of this blog message is if it seems like I don't want to be your friend or that I've dropped off the face of the planet, know that I haven't. I would love to see anyone and hang out so I guess let me know if anyone has time for that. I will do my best to keep in touch and make time for other people too.



Lots of love,

ashleigh